Howl of Wind and Patter of Raindrops...

I guess I haven't been very active and it's been my fault but things have come up and I will try get back into posting. To start off, I'll talk about the weather currently in Ireland...

From my bedroom window right now, I can hear the splatter of harsh rain against the glass, feeling I'm taunting it by remaining dry during its onslaught. Trees are being assaulted by the gale winds, its leaves barely hanging on for dear life. Mumbles of human annoyance add to the symphony of Mother Nature, though none from me. I love weather like this, seeing the ground grow increasingly darker with damp, seeing the plant life sprinkled with drops of rain... Add in a hint of rolling thunder and sparking lightening and I would be extremely pleased. One day, I would love to visit a nearby forest area with an iPod and an open mind during a heavy shower, letting myself get lost in the fresh wilderness. 

It's just... this weather is so calm and cooling, also very unpredictable. I don't know about other people but I honestly want to spend my time out under a constant storm, feeling the rumble of thunder through my bones and the forks of lightening throwing bright lights across my face, mixing with the soft and sweet drops of rain.

I guess I’ll finish here ^^

 -Skully :3

I apologise, mi amigos!

Please, put the gun aw*shot* AW COME ON D<

*clears throat* Anyw-*ducks from shoe thrown* -.- I'm NOT George Bush, okay?

Now... we good? Ossim.

I was really busy today and so didn't have time to post one of my longish posts so tomorrow, for my MILLIONS OF FOLLOWERS, actually only 4 ;_; - You will get an extra long post from me to make it up, because I love you guys even though none of you do \o.o/ The gun and shoe prove tha- *knocked out by baby elephant thrown into head*

 - Skully :3

Friendship.

This post is directed at people who know how epic they are to me.

You guys... make me who I am. Giving me a smile everyday, be it in real life where I can return my own, twice as cheesy one or over the Internet, making me know someone in another country cares about me more than I do at times. Without my friends, I doubt I could face the harsh reality of life, because friends give you an escape from your fears and worries, create a barrier between them and you with a hug or sending them scuttling into the undergrowth with an infectious laugh. I try and repay you with all my love and care but you keep on giving me all that and the cycle starts again - will I ever not be indebted to you? I honestly don't care, though. At least I know I own people continuous support when it's their turn to panic, when they need a pick me up and I'm the one to be there, sometimes not knowing what I'm to do but still, I pick up a hammer and smash in happiness >D Well, actually I gently slide it in bit by bit but I wanted to mention hammer :)

I've seen people with hundreds of so called "friends" on social networks, bragging about how many friend requests they had to fight their way through or their account would suffocate and I think "It's never the amount of friends you have but the amount of friendship you share with them" and I seriously doubt you can share an equal amount of that friendship with over 1000 people with the same self centred look on life as you do. The less the merrier for me and it's always been like that due to the things I enjoy - reading, writing poems and stories, crime shows, movie soundtracks etc. People who like these things are hard to find but when I do, we click and stick (LOL RYHME >.>) together for a long time and I just want to thank you for everything thing you have ever done for me and I only hope I can do the same for you guys. I <3 you and always will :3 I can't name you all off because I might miss someone and I couldn't have that but I know a handful of people who straight away will know this is for them, hopefully. Post if you do \o.o/ (sneaky posting tactic!) I'm off and again, thank you to all my friends because I can't imagine life without any of you.

 - Skully :3

The Outside World.

I'm writing this post so I can clearly write down some of the things I'm feeling right now because it might give me some clarity, I don't know.

I have an over-active imagination, it seems. Maybe paranoia. Or maybe I'm just stupid and weird.    

  Last night, I was convinced someone was going to break into my house because I saw my back garden light flash on and off many times - something it does if someone walks under it. My paranoia increased when it dawned on me we have a full glass sliding door - easy to smash and enter the house through. I started hearing noises and sat bolt right up in bed, waiting for my bedroom door to open. My friends tried putting me at ease but I knew by the time I screamed for help if someone DID enter, my throat would be slashed, I could be kidnapped or shot easily within the time it took my guardians to come out and see what was happening. Needless to say, none of this happened but I was shook up, which was pointless of me.

  Today, I went down to the shops for some items and I walk along a main road to get to the shops. Every car that passed, I thought was going to run me over or pull up and the driver would take me, kicking and screaming. You probably are thinking I'm idiotic and should have my mouth sewn and I agree with you - I'd do it to myself if given chemicals to numb my mouth and the confirmation my mum wouldn't freak at me. Even when I entered the shop, I was on edge. I'm wondering now if this is normal. I watch Criminal Minds and maybe that's caused this but why now? I've watched that show for 2 years now and nothing like this. I should be seeing my guidance counsellor in school soon and I'm musing over what she'll say about this.

  What sums up my feelings is this quote:

Killers can seem smart when you can't figure out who they are.
Pat Brown

  I agree because, do we honestly believe every person we pass isn't capable of cold blooded murder? Someone we pass is, be it a psychopath, sociopath, mentally unstable etc. can murder someone and not care and will want to kill again. My own quote would be:

Those ideas for killers we imagine for stories or childhood games all have a real life counterpart.

  This has become very dark very quickly so sorry if this wasn't very pleasing to read.

 - Skully.

Mrmph.

My last rant will go here because I must have a cut off point somewhere xD

3. Arrogant, spiteful, malicious people: This might tie into a previous post but on a much broader scale. I am a person who hates seeing my friends and people I love and care about being hurt and crushed by someone who twisted their views of themselves and others in terrible ways. It fills me with anger and fear the people I adore won't be that shining light I know they can, all because of comments idiotic people make without thinking of the repercussions. This may seem like a stupid rant to be having but it is something that annoys the hell out of me because I guess I'm too caring for my own good. That might be my downfall one day because this world is unforgiving to those who have no backbone and if I was to become a doctor, which is my hope for the future, I might need to be gutsy when trying for higher positions in hospitals but I can't. Sure, I know many of my friends who could be courageous and they try for everything but I'm not like them and it really bothers me. My mum is extremely self assured but I'm not. I never talked back to people in Primary school because I didn't want to upset anyone and though I've tried being braver in Secondary school, I might have upset my chances of being on my Student Council. It's a Catch-22 situation - if I don't speak up, I'm forgotten and ignored but if I do speak up, those arrogant, spiteful, malicious people will cut me down to size and hang my head on a pike as a warning to those who think they can one up them. Seriously, I have no clue what I'm going to do and my friends will have a lot of my emotions to deal with as the weeks progress. 

I'll end it here because this hasn't helped me feel any better.

 - Skully :3

Get It Off My Chest... Not Literally o. o

I suppose I just want to rant about what upsets me, which is continuing on from my previous post...


1. People Thinking They Are Above Me: I have attended both a girls Primary and Secondary (which I am still in) schools so I have first hand knowledge of being on the receiving end of b*tchyness. You could say this should have given me a backbone but it didn't. I made me fear the laughter of people I'm not friends with, made me weary of looks from people, made me panic if I say something in class. What comes to mind is "Those eyes upon your back burn in/And dissect whatever is found within."  I like making my own poems :/ I am not a popular girl - my own admission. I know that when I go for my Student Representative Council in 6th Year, I won't be Head Girl or Vice Head Girl for these will go to girls loved by more because they "fit the norm" of what my school peers want. I don't drink, smoke, meet boys or go to discos. I'm socially awkward around people I don't know, meaning teen discos would be a hell for me. The other girls joke and laugh about their antics of underage drinking over Facebook, another social must-have I am not on, and expect everyone to be doing the same. To me, this all seems a load of rubbish. Why ruin your liver with alcohol while it is still developing? Why kill of necessary brain cells during an important exam year? Why risk having a date rape drug slipped into said drink and not knowing what might happen to you? 
... Yes I think of the worst case scenarios, problem?
I've never had a first kiss because I rarely go out for pleasure - always for something to do with school, music, Order of Malta etc. My best friend in the world is female and she is like me, so growing up she was my view of the world and I found this okay. School, however, showed me people need others to play the rungs of the ladder while they step all over them to reach the top. And if you aren't climbing the ladder with them, you better get comfortable being that rung.


2. People Being Idiotic/ Posts Ruining Good Music: With this, I am talking about stupid and pitiful comments on YouTube on videos which I adore, e.g Inception Soundtrack - Half Remembered Dream. The.... "humans" posting here are spamming the comments, saying this piece of music is great to "take a sh*t to." Seriously? Why must I call you a human? Shut up and listen to the, in my opinion, magical works of Hans Zimmer and stop being so childish. 
  Another video that made me hate humans was a video about a girl named Beth who suffered an awful childhood and never learned to love or trust anyone and never developed a conscience. She was 6 and a half at the time of the video and someone commented:

"That child needed to be locked up and what is wrong with these adoptive parents having the brother and the animals around her!"

She deserves to have a life she never had with her biological parents and you think it would be right to lock her away like a common criminal, away from human contact for things that happened to her she DIDN'T cause. Grow up and think before you post, please?


I'm going to post more in another blog post maybe tonight or tomorrow but I'm wrecked now. Please comment and give me things to rant about! Cheerio!
 - Skully :3

Told you I'd have an emotional post! AHA!

He cheers me up, so I posted him.
Because that is what this post will help me do - Cheer up. Well, I hope.
I have a lot to say but I am a person who thinks too much before she acts. I would LOVE to rant but my problems seem minor compared to others so I feel awful if I'm here, being a moany teenager while someone is suffering much more than me.
My problem is I can't say no. I have a fear of upsetting people and I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was hurting someone by not doing it. Last year, I was told I caused someone very close to me to cry over the phone to a family member because of something I did. I caused someone that distress and I felt horrible, and I still do. What hurt more, though, were comments sent in my direction which were spiteful and uncalled for because they didn't just hurt me but the person I hurt as well. I can't believe a human could tell someone the things I was told. I know I caused the comments in the first place, I'll admit. But this person should have had the decency to say what they said in a different way, at least. Instead, they made me fear the power of words and I can clearly remember what I was told that day but I won't post it here, because then I'd have to explain the whole back-story and I couldn't do that.
What I will say is thought we hurt those nearest and dearest to us, our actions that follow will decide whether we went to hurt them on purpose or by accident. I guess I am still learning that myself but one day, I hope that will click.
I guess I'll finish here because I got that out of my system.
 - Skully :3

Friday the 13th *cue scary music*

Well, this day has come to grace our presence once more. I am a superstitious person, I'll admit, so this day unnerved me, to say the least. I just know something bad will happen to me and all the world will LOL at it, before moving on with their non-ruined-by-Friday-the-13th lives. I have decided to camp out in my room to prevent anything bad happening! ... Well, I actually have homework to finish but that reason isn't as interesting as the previous one, right? ........ I'm just going to imagine you all agreed with me! The fear of Friday the 13th is called friggatriskaidekaphobia, with Frigga meaning the Norse God of Friday (Though I always thought it was Freya?) and Triskaidekaphobia being the fear of the number 13. Try saying THAT at least once completely sober xD I think I'll sign off here, as Procrastination isn't what will get my homework done, sadly ;-; - Skully :3

I HATH FOUNDETH MY WAYETH HERE.... ETH

Em heyyo!
I seriously don't understand blogging. I think all who read this will laugh at my pitiful attempt.
At least I bit the bullet and tried, eh?
...
....
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Thanks for the support.
This blog will be filled with my rants, observations and thoughts as my Junior Cert approaches and what not.
Just take away from this that I will be emotional in a coming Blog post, it's a certainty ;)
Anyway, I'm signing off!
 - Skully :3