The Outside World.

I'm writing this post so I can clearly write down some of the things I'm feeling right now because it might give me some clarity, I don't know.

I have an over-active imagination, it seems. Maybe paranoia. Or maybe I'm just stupid and weird.    

  Last night, I was convinced someone was going to break into my house because I saw my back garden light flash on and off many times - something it does if someone walks under it. My paranoia increased when it dawned on me we have a full glass sliding door - easy to smash and enter the house through. I started hearing noises and sat bolt right up in bed, waiting for my bedroom door to open. My friends tried putting me at ease but I knew by the time I screamed for help if someone DID enter, my throat would be slashed, I could be kidnapped or shot easily within the time it took my guardians to come out and see what was happening. Needless to say, none of this happened but I was shook up, which was pointless of me.

  Today, I went down to the shops for some items and I walk along a main road to get to the shops. Every car that passed, I thought was going to run me over or pull up and the driver would take me, kicking and screaming. You probably are thinking I'm idiotic and should have my mouth sewn and I agree with you - I'd do it to myself if given chemicals to numb my mouth and the confirmation my mum wouldn't freak at me. Even when I entered the shop, I was on edge. I'm wondering now if this is normal. I watch Criminal Minds and maybe that's caused this but why now? I've watched that show for 2 years now and nothing like this. I should be seeing my guidance counsellor in school soon and I'm musing over what she'll say about this.

  What sums up my feelings is this quote:

Killers can seem smart when you can't figure out who they are.
Pat Brown

  I agree because, do we honestly believe every person we pass isn't capable of cold blooded murder? Someone we pass is, be it a psychopath, sociopath, mentally unstable etc. can murder someone and not care and will want to kill again. My own quote would be:

Those ideas for killers we imagine for stories or childhood games all have a real life counterpart.

  This has become very dark very quickly so sorry if this wasn't very pleasing to read.

 - Skully.